I received a free copy of The Self-Love Revolution: Radical Body Positivity for Girls of Color in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.

I’ve never been comfortable in my own skin. Since I can remember I’ve obsessed over the number I see on the scale and have stressed about my weight. When the body positivity movement first started to pick up steam, I was convinced that no one could actually be happy and confident being thicker, heavier, and living outside of what society deems is the standard of beauty. However day after day I see more and more and women happily living in their own skin despite their size and whatever else makes them different. Virgie Tovar’s, The Self-Love Revolution: Radical Body Positivity for Girls of Color deep dives into what causes Fatphobia and how to overcome it.

A Letter to My Younger Self,

You are loved by so many, but the love you receive from others means nothing if you don’t first love yourself. There are people in this world who can’t help but share their opinion about your body, that’s something you can’t really control. But, what you can control is how their opinion makes you feel. No one has a right to feel any type of way about your body. It’s yours, beautifully stitched together by God, and the last time I checked God doesn’t make mistakes. You are wonderfully and fearfully made. Your big lips and full hips help to make you who you are, but those features are only a fraction of the person you will be. Love yourself. Embrace who you are. I know the kids will tease you, and I know the pain that will cause, but it’s okay because what they don’t understand is that the way they treat you is a reflection of how they feel about themselves.

Don’t let anyone pass their insecurities off on you. Stop taking the weight loss pills, drinking the diet shakes, and starving yourself because it isn’t healthy. If you want to live a healthier life then do that, but make sure you’re doing it because it’s what you really want, not because it will make who you are more acceptable. Always remember that who you are as you are is enough, and anyone who can’t accept you is not deserving of your presence.

Love God, Love Yourself, then Love Others. Please be gentle with yourself, please spend more time highlighting the good than you do pointing out the negatives. Remember that beauty is a social construct. Know that you are beautiful, and you don’t have to seek validation from anyone to feel as such. Most importantly, remember that the kind of person you are on the inside far outweighs any external feature; you can be the world’s most “beautiful” person but be absolutely hideous in how you treat others.

You are who you were created to be. Be confident. Be courageous. Love yourself unapologetically and fearlessly.

With Love,

The Older Version of You Who I Just Starting to Understand This

Virgie Tovar’s The Self-Love Revolution woke me up. This book made me understand that I wasn’t born hating myself, in fact, the way I feel about myself was conditioned. Fatphobia is a learned behavior, and if unchecked it could be contagious and poisoning. I’ve lived more than half of my life not loving my body, not accepting myself, and seeking validation from others. That’s not okay. In her book, Tovar states that we can stop hating our bodies and that fatphobia makes our bodies into an enemy when in actuality our bodies are our most important allies. Which made me start thinking back to all the experiences I’ve had in life. The only thing that I still have after 27 years of living, is my body. I’ve changed phones and thrown away shoes but you know what's still here? My body. This body that has given life. This body that has recovered from illnesses and near-death incidents. And here I am judging it, treating it poorly, and not loving and respecting it.

After reading Tovar’s The Self Love Revolution, I’ve decided that enough is enough. This book powerfully breaks down the stigma of Fatphobia and gives ways to work toward true undeniable Self-Love. Virgie Tovar shows us that even if we have lived a life of insecurity in who we are, we don’t have to continue feeling that way. We can love ourselves, and be unapologetic in doing so. We can set boundaries, and control our own narrative. The Self-Love Revolution: Radical Body Positivity for Girls of Color by Virgie Tovar offers readers a guide to help you question popular culture and cultivate unapologetic radical body positivity.