'Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. ' Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV
'Trust the Lord completely, and don’t depend on your own knowledge. With every step you take, think about what he wants, and he will help you go the right way. ' Proverbs 3:5-6
I struggle with control.
I struggle with the control aspect of Christianity even though a lot of times I like to pretend or maybe even portray myself as if I don’t. Not knowing what happens next, how I will get from point A to point B, or when I will see the light at the end of the tunnel is difficult for me. I will literally scream from the mountaintops:
“God I trust you”
I’ll sing to the tip-top of my lungs:
“Waymaker, miracle worker, promise keeper, light in the darkness, my God that is who you are… Even when I don’t see it you’re working… you never stop working!”
And then have the audacity to sit down and be stuck and mentally crippled for days, weeks, and even months because I don’t know what’s going to happen or how I am going to do XYZ, even though God has proven time and time again that his plan always works and I’ve seen him perform literal miracle after miracle in my life and the lives of people I know.
Why am I continuing in that same tiresome and toxic cycle when I know what I need to do? Why am I continuously having these “breakthroughs” through worship and God is continually giving me sign after sign, but I am still struggling? Why am I struggling silently? I have a therapist telling me I’m depressed, and thoughts of dying without being a good steward of the talents God has given me constantly race through my mind. How long am I going to let this thought process hinder me? When will I say enough is enough and let go, but more importantly how will I keep from relapsing?
A few months ago my Pastor talked about having a “Rhema’ word, which is a word from God that you stand on (repeat daily, hourly if needed) and you keep that word on your lips through whatever season you’re facing. You stand on and believe in that word from God. For example, if you need strength through a situation your Rhema could be Philippians 4:13 “ I can do all things through him who gives me strength”, and you would repeat that over and over. Your Rhema is your Faith phrase for your season and it can change as your seasons change. So when we talk about control and trusting God our Rhema would be Proverbs 3:5-6 and anytime we feel ourselves slipping, self-doubting, and obsessing over things we have no control over; we say “God I will trust you with all my heart and I will lean not unto my own understanding, in all my ways I will acknowledge you and I know you will direct my path”.
Whenever my thoughts are unproductive I’ll speak my Rhema and instead of stalling or becoming stagnant, I’ll keep moving because I will never see the light at the end of the tunnel by being still. God rewards movement.
We will never understand or know what God is doing in our lives
'“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord . ' Isaiah 55:8
All things work together for the good of those who love the Lord, we have to know this. We have to trust this. We have to believe and live our lives because one thing God doesn’t do is lie and he fulfills his promises. His word never returns to Him void.
Is it easier said than done? Yes, but it doesn’t have to be. We tend to make things way more difficult than they have to be.
Is it impossible? Not in the least
So, here I am laying down my almost obsessive need for control so God can what only he can do.
